Month: July 2010

  • ‘The Future is Unwritten’ by Andrew Schwab

    I’m not going to lie. I was a serious force in little league baseball in fourth grade. In my first year I made the all-star team, and had the best batting average on my team. And when the season concluded (with a decent all-star game performance, I might add), I was poised–in my own mind, at least–for a serious run at a major league career.

    Until…

    One afternoon during the summer after that first season, my dad and I were playing catch in the back yard, like we had countless times before. But early in our sesh, as I threw the ball to my dad, I became distracted by my dog, which was barking wildly at a snake or some other small creature in the grass. I turned my head to see what going on as the ball was in mid-air, traveling to him. I kept investigating my dog for a moment, assuming that my dad would wait until I made eye contact with him again before he threw the ball back to me. But then I heard my name being shouted, and as I turned back to him, the ball was already in the air. I raised my glove…

    But it was too late.

    Then, I heard an earth-pummeling, skull-crunching, galaxy-devastating, nuclear-blast-of-an- explosion on the upper right region/area/locale of my face. More specifically, the baseball had collided with my right eye, and the world had gone black. It was .23 seconds later that I set the US decibel record for loudest blood-curdling wail by a human.

    Getting hit by a baseball in the eye–even a lightly thrown one–is sort of indescribable. Imagine the sound of a wrecking ball smashing into a steel building, combined with the sound of an airplane engine being amplified through the PA system at Yankee stadium inside your head at the same instant. Then, imagine your head sitting between a head-on collision of two half-ton pickups who are speeding at one another at eighty-eight miles per hour.

    That’s right, eighty-eight miles per hour.

    Ok, I exaggerate. But not by much. It truly sucked, and it was quite painful.

    As I wailed and scared the living excrement out of every living human within three counties, my dad rushed me into the house to get some ice. But instead, he decided to grab a hunk of raw meat from the freezer and slap it on the side of my face. This sent aftershocks of the pain radiating down the whole right side of my body. I let out another scream as he did so.
    My eye swelled shut in a matter of seconds. The pain would not subside for hours. It would be two weeks before the enormous shiner was completely gone.

    Though the damage to my face was considerable, the greater damage was done to my baseball mojo. It took me over a month to work up the courage to even pick up my mitt after that.

    When my dad finally convinced me to get back on the field, I was more than a little gunshy. We started with batting practice. When he threw the first pitch I flew backwards, launching myself five feet from the plate to avoid the ball. All I could hear in my head was that horrendous crunching sound, and all I could see was the flash when the lights when out.

    This was bad. Real bad. Baseball season was approaching. I was moving up to a higher league where everything would be faster and harder than before. All I could see in my future was the potential for another smash in the face…

    How was I going to make it through the season, let alone play well?

    We all have disappointing experiences in our pasts. Accidents, mistakes, poor decisions, mean acts from mean people to nice ones. And as we look to the what’s ahead, the voices from the past show up and threaten our perspective about the future, causing fear, doubt, and anxiety. They say things like these:

    What if I shouldn’t have broken up with him/her?
    What if we lose this house because we got an interest-only loan?
    What if the person I marry ends up treating me bad, just like my parents did?
    What if that dude I pantsed in junior high finds out where I live?
    What if I should have been a carpenter instead of a Christian hip-hop artist?
    What if I paid too much for my car insurance?
    What if, by repeatedly avoiding the census takers at my door I am actually placing myself on a secret FBI list that will one day result in my being sent up the river to a special prison where they force us to watch only the Bravo network and more specifically the real housewives of Orange County, New Jersey, Atlanta, and New York on infinite repeat?

     

    What if God doesn’t protect me in the future?

    And as fear lays itself on thick, our attempts to alleviate our worry as a result are strained and difficult. Because bad things have happened in the past, more bad things must be coming. This hinders our peace, as well as our joy in the present. We stop living because our histories are haunting us, and we will do anything to avoid more pain.

    But consider this, if you are dealing with anxiety about what lies ahead:

    Fear of the future usually comes from an incorrect view of the past.

    Remember, we all make stupid decisions. Disappointments are a part of life. Maybe we trusted the wrong person and get burned. Maybe a family member treated us poorly when we were growing up. Or perhaps we thought there wouldn’t be a cop looming under that overpass while we were doing 95. We let the big one get away. We decided to pursue Christian hip-hop instead of carpentry. But does any of this really mean our future will look the same as our past? Are we doomed to repeat history?

    No. We are not.

    As it turns out, we are in complete control of our pasts. Unfortunately, we can’t change it, but we can use it in any way we please. We can either use it to justify the fear of the future, or we can use it as a learning tool. Ironically, If we see the past as a reason to be afraid, we are more likely to make similar mistakes. This is a victim-like response that is passive and counter-productive. But if we choose to learn we are making a choice to take action. And in this way a troubled past becomes an ally, an insurance policy which will actually give us the best chance for a different future.

    To learn from the past is to grow in faith and wisdom.

    The conclusion? You need not worry. The past does not dictate the future. And wisdom gained from learning from past experiences actually makes it easier to trust God with our futures. A wise man learns from both his missteps and his bad experiences to become a more righteous person.

    This discussion brings a famous poem to mind. Many of you have heard this before, but now may be a good time for a refresher:

    I was regretting the past
    and fearing the future.
    Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
    “My name is I AM”
    He paused.
    I waited. He continued,
    “When you live in the past
    with its mistakes and regrets,
    it is hard. I am not there.
    My name is not I WAS.
    When you live in the future,
    with its problems and fears,
    it is hard. I am not there.
    My name is not I WILL BE.
    When you live in this moment
    it is not hard. I am here,
    My name is I AM.”

    -Helen Mallicoat

    Incidentally, I played poorly for the first part of that baseball season, because I couldn’t get that image of being blasted in the eye out my head. It took some serious soul-searching, but I finally forced myself to stay in the batters box one game about half way through our schedule. And wouldn’t you know it? I went 3-4 that game with two doubles and three RBIs. But it wasn’t until I convinced myself that the past didn’t have to be the future that I was able to play up to my capabilities.

    © June 2010 Andrew Schwab // www.andrewschwab.com

  • Sonshine 2010

         Every third weekend in July for the past five years I have attended Sonshine Festival in Willmar, MN. Every year I have a fantastic time, spend a lot more than I should on stuff I don’t really need (per se…), get myself a nice, lobster red, trucker tan, and blog about my experiences and the things I bought while I was there as soon as I get settled back in at home. No exception this year, especially the sunburn part as the sun was out in full force for almost the entire duration of the festival, but despite being seven inches from the mid-day sun for four days we had fun.

         There weren’t a whole lot of bands there that I recognized this year, which I see as bittersweet. It stinks that some of the more awesome bands I know and love weren’t there for me to rock along with, but it’s always great to broaden your horizons and discover some new bands which has usually happened by accident in previous years. “Who are these guys? They’re awesome!” Among the bands I was excited to see are Showbread, Impending Doom (the coolest band name ever!), August Burns Red (which we ended up not going to as it was decidedly too hot to be amongst a thousand sweaty bodies in a crowded and poorly ventilated building), Skillet (whose show was better this year than ever before), and Children 18:3. I was also excited to see Mychildren Mybride, but unfortunately they couldn’t make it, and fortunately Becoming the Archetype (an equally awesome band) filled the open spot. All in all, it was a pretty decent set of sets.

         And now for the one thing I love most about coming home from Sonshine, proudly displaying my purchases for the year. With a wealth of Christian apparel, CD, DVD’s, and of course band shirts, going into Sonshine with little to no money is horrible. Last year, I didn’t buy anything because I was literally, completely broke, and it was a horrible burden not being able to support my favorite bands buy stuff I totally needed. This year, I’m still broke but I earned some cash doing landscaping and yard work for my dad, so it was all good. Anyway, onto the stuff I bought! (like you care…)

    1. Eternal by War of Ages

    War of Ages is a FANTASTIC band. They always rock the stage and the crowd at Sonshine, and their faith is incredible. The lead singer came from a horrible home (his dad was and is a drug addict who refuses to believe there is a God who cares about him), and he really speaks into how God changed his life both in his lyrics and verbally while he’s on stage in front of a crowd. This CD isn’t quite as good as their previous works, in my opinion, because like Norma Jean’s music, every song sounds pretty much the same. It’ll take some listening to, but I’m sure I’ll end up loving it as much as the others eventually.

    2. Impending Doom – There Will Be Violence

    I came across Impending Doom by accident while surfing YouTube. I was surfing around different music videos of artists I didn’t recognize who were to appear at Sonshine last year. When I searched “Impending Doom” I landed on the video for their song “My Nemesis” and Rachel (who was sitting behind me) and I dropped our jaws in amazement at their musical style. It was absolutely amazing, totally impressive, and unlike anything I had ever heard before. There are only a handful of people in the world who can do that with their voices, and this guy’s one of them. I immediately bought the CD on iTunes. Unfortunately singing like they do in “My Nemesis” and in all the songs on their first CD is exceedingly difficult and really bad for your vocal chords, so most of the bands (including Impending Doom) only do it on one album (usually their first, when they figure out singing like that at every show they play is one of the few things on earth that is totally impossible). Doom’s second and third albums (this is their third) are sung in a lighter but equally awesome way. And seriously, just say the name: Impending Doom. Wow, it just rolls off the tongue. And it’s really fun to say if you say “impending” really fast, and then hold out the O’s in doom and say it in your lowest voice possible. “IMPENDING doooooooooom…” Try it! It’ll make you laugh, I guarantee it.

    3. The Great Commission – And Every Knee Shall Bow

    I’ve never heard of these guys before, but their merchandise table had some really interesting shirts on it. Shirts that said “Heavy Freaking Worship” and things of the sort on them. It seemed, by their merchandise, that their message resembled my understanding of faith and Christianity. As it turned out, their message was exactly what I expected it to be, and more. These guys are a group of pastors (not literally) rocking stages everywhere with the word of God. They talked about how parents, churches, friends, and family persecuting their Christian peers for listening to heavy metal, and how Christians judging Christian metal bands and writing them off as “the devil in disguise” weighed heavy on their hearts. They talked of fans from shows all over the country coming to them after the show with stories about how people look down on them for “listening to that evil ‘Christian’ metal music” and stories of how traditionalist Christians told them they were “going to Hell for getting that tattoo.” I see this all too often, and it really breaks my heart. God sees what’s inside of us; our character and our intentions. So many Christians, mainly older people, have been brought up in homes and churches preaching denominational rituals and traditions over the laws and guidelines of the bible. This fact is the one thing about ‘religion’ that sickens me the most. I’ve actually heard someone say to me, “If a church doesn’t have pews, it’s not a Christian church.” AHHHH!!! No wonder the secularists look at us like we’re a bunch of raving idiots. If I didn’t know better, I’d probably do the same. Anyway, sorry about the ramble, but these guys and their message really hit home with me, their music was really, really good, and to top it all off, the backup vocals (hardcore, low-growling vocals) were sung by….A WOMAN! Yes! I love seeing female screamers, and this shorter, smaller lady could belt it. Awesome.

    4. Rain’s A Comin’ – Children 18:3

    I’ve been a fan of Children 18:3 for a looong time. They’re from Morris, Minnesota, they opened for a good ninety percent of the concerts I attended at Club 3 Degrees in Minneapolis. The first time I saw them they were just some weird local band. Very weird. But after seeing them a few times, I realized that the crowd always adored them, and their songs were pretty darn good. And the chick on the bass guitar was insanely hot. I got into them. I checked them out at Sonshine Fest every year, talked to them and their mom (they’re all siblings and their Mom is always at their merch table selling CD’s and t-shirts), and even bought their homemade, burned CD album. I always thought it would be really cool if they were signed to [SolidState Records, BEC Recordings and/or] Tooth & Nail records (the most awesome record label EVAR), and just last year they were signed by Tooth & Nail! I was super proud. I’m not sure why, but I was. Maybe it was because an unsigned, unknown band I had come to love had been signed to the one recording empire I loved more than any other. It was a big deal. Probably more for them than for me, but…..well, yea. This CD certainly tops their first, self-titled album, but both albums are really good.

    5. It’s All Downhill From Here: On the road with Project 86 – Andrew Schwab

    I read this book (or parts of it) back in College, and I remembered enjoying some of the stories I read. A friend of mine is a Project 86 PHREAK (as he calls himself) and has everything Project 86 and everything Andrew Schwab (who is the lead singer of the band) including this book, so I borrowed it from him in college (only because he wouldn’t let me leave his presence without it). I don’t read. Ever. I hate it. It bores me to tears and gives me headaches (I promise I read your blogs, though) But being unemployed for almost two months now, and not hearing back from (or finding, really) any job prospects, I have actually picked up (I can’t believe I’m saying this) reading for pleasure. And I’m really glad I started with this book. Oh man, it is wildly hilarious! Literally laugh-out-loud funny. Andrew Schwab is a gifted writer, and I am so glad he decided to share his best and worst on-tour experiences with everyone with this amazing book. If you can get your hands on a copy (I’m not sure it’s available at any library, but it is on Amazon.com), please check it out.

    6. Fame is Infamy – Andrew Schwab

    After what I said about the first book, I shouldn’t really have to go on about this one, but I will because it is completely different. If you want to read a book that will challenge your faith, your beliefs, your life, etc, pick this one up. Andrew, as I said before, is a truly gifted writer, and an absolute genius. This book spells out the way things are, and the way things should be, in such plain English only fool wouldn’t get it. I’m currently reading the other book, but before I turned out the light last night after reading another chapter, I glanced at the introduction to this book. By the time I put it down, I was nearly a third of the way into the book, my mind was racing, and everything I could never understand about my life, my faith, and my beliefs was suddenly crystal clear. This book is so good that after reading a mere ten pages I saw my life in a new light. Please. I’m on my knees and I’m begging you. Pick up a copy of this book (it’s not long, it’s illustrated, and I’m sure it’s cheap at andrewschwab.com), read it, and tell me what you think. I can’t wait to get into it!

    7 & 8: The Spinal Cord Perception and Nevada – Joshua S. Porter

    Joshua S. Porter (aka Josh Dies) is the lead vocalist of Showbread. He, like the members of The Great Comission, shares my anti-traditionalist, anti-denominational, pro-love view of Christianity. As he said at Sonshine, “Let’s show God to the world by loving everybody, living righteously, and performing remarkably so that those people who aren’t Christians, who don’t know God, will see something desirable in us, and ask us what we have that nobody else does.” Powerful words. I put these two books together because I bought them knowing they were exactly the kinds of writings that Rachel (my girlfriend and fellow Sonshine goer) would love. She’s about a third of the way into the Spinal Cord Perception, and she loves it. Check out the descriptions of these books (ya know, the stuff it says on the back) online somewhere and I promise you’ll know immediately whether or not you’ll like the books.

    9 & 10: Band T-Shirts

    Probably the one thing I love most about going to Sonshine is the opportunity to refresh my never ending pile of black, Christian metal band shirts. I’ve got tons of them, and I can always use more. This year I decided on these two. I would’ve bought many, many more, but my cash was in short supply (to say the least) and shirts are expensive ($15-$30 for a t-shirt? Yikes!). That’s about all I need to say about that, right? IMPENDING dooooooooom. lol

    And that’s everything. I hope you enjoyed reading the things I had to say (I say ‘you’ assuming there’s actually someone reading this. Pshhh), and if so, please comment. (100 paragraph comments welcome)

    ~Josh

  • Dadaroo

    I came across a blog on Momaroo about lies we tell on facebook (here) and in that post it said this:

    Hey! I’m amazing, thanks for asking! I have an age-defying flat stomach even after birthing two kids naturally…two kids who are currently in Montessori school, are child models, and reading at the college level. We travel a lot because my kids are also classical pianists who play for heads of state and my husband is an astronaut who likes to take the family on his intergalactic space trips. Also, I have a robot dog that speaks 18 languages. As for me? I’m Oprah’s stockbroker. For fun, I chisel marble masterpieces and enjoy the sensual administrations of my nubile waitstaff.”

    Hilarious.